This week in one of my social media posts, I did about boundaries that seemed to strike a chord with people, so I wanted to continue the conversation on this week’s blog post.
I have to be honest that post came about from many conversations I have had lately regarding feeling pressured, and I have to say it’s not just one conversation. Many recently inspired me to create the post to share the message that it’s so important, especially with the current world issues that we respect other people and their personal choices.
One of the most important things you can do to protect yourself is to set boundaries. Boundaries do not hurt people; they are a way for us to keep ourselves safe and happy in our relationships.
When setting boundaries, acknowledge how other people might feel about your limits and remember that they still love you! It may be hard at first, but it becomes easier as time goes on, and the more you practice this with different people, the easier it will feel to you.
-Ask yourself the following questions:
-Do I feel safe with this person?
-Is setting a boundary in line with my values and beliefs?
-What does setting boundaries mean for me? Am I willing to give up? What do I want from them instead of what they are asking for of me right now?
When setting a boundary, some people may respond it tells them something about your feelings. Other people might be surprised or upset at first but then come around to see your decision as being suitable for both parties. In some cases, setting boundaries can even help someone grow into a better version of themselves over time! Allowing ourselves access to our power is a meaningful way to set boundaries.
-Ask for what you need or want without setting a boundary, and they may feel more pressure to give it to you even if it isn’t right for them;
Avoid agreeing with someone when you don’t mean yes because this could lead other people into thinking that setting boundaries are about power battles instead of protecting oneself.
-Permit yourself to say no! It will make setting boundaries easier in all aspects of your life. Say “I’d rather not do X” or “No, thank you.” You are allowed to take care of your own needs and desires first before focusing on others’ desires at any given time. -What can I offer as an alternative? Can we brainstorm together?
-If setting a boundary is uncomfortable for you, try practicing it out loud with someone else.
If you feel pressured by others to do something that feels wrong for you, use your best judgement and set a boundary. You are not obligated to do anything that makes you uncomfortable or feel unsafe; setting boundaries allows us the freedom to make our own decisions! If you find setting boundaries difficult, you may want to investigate the reason why. It can be a fear of rejection, fear of confrontation, guilt or abandonment. Whatever it is, the work is on you, not the other person.
Setting boundaries is one of the best ways to protect ourselves and stay happy in our relationships. It can be hard at first, but it becomes easier as time goes on with patience and practice. Remember that other people love you too much to want to hurt or control you – they may not like your limits at first but will come around eventually.
One of the most important things we can look at is the chakra system. Most people operate on only two or three and can find themselves out of balance and you may find yourself unable to set boundaries. I invite you to explore the chakra system through dance, art and meditation at our next Reboot Your Root Chakra workshop Saturday, September 11th from 10-4 pm there are currently only three spots left.
If you would like to get on the notification list for upcoming workshops please contact us here